When I added the sun to my mountain tattoo, I intentionally designed it to be unclear whether it was rising or setting. The inspiration came from a story I heard that Benjamin Franklin had stared at a half-sun carved into George Washington’s chair throughout the Constitutional Convention and, at the moment of signing, declared he did believe that the sun is rising. This anecdote rang so vividly in my head this year and not just because I’m slightly obsessed with Benjamin Franklin. As we entered into 2019 my life felt like it was hanging on a thread and I didn’t feel terribly safe with so many unknowns. The sun on my arm, and the one on Washington’s chair is a reminder that we can choose whether we see the sun rising or setting. By choosing to believe it was rising, I could sleep at night with whatever optimism I could muster.
Last night, my family ate our traditional sushi dinner in a headspace of gratitude and calm. In 2019 we took big risks: to leave a home we had hoped to stay in, to split in half in order to lend a hand when we could, to pull Liam out of school, to start driving to Boston without a job offer, to buy a house without seeing it, to start a job that filled me with nerves, to walk into spaces where we knew nobody and understood little, to try new things including having the audacity to sit still. As 2019 ended, Brent and I talked about how high we were when we jumped and how grateful we are we landed on our feet. The job is a great challenge, the kids are getting into the groove of school and friends, Brent’s weekends are booked well in advance with gigs and even Lemmy seems to be thriving in this new home.
When the sun set on 2019 I looked around in a sense of wonder at the amount of change one family can withstand. It has not gone without notice that we asked a lot of each other this year. The kids will fluently tell you, sometimes without asking, about the number of moves they made, different schools they attended and all the people that came into or left their lives this year. I’m so grateful they’ve kept their wits about them and that Brent continues to be a partner in every sense of the word.
As we ate our sushi I tried to suggest that we aim for a calm 2020 but the table just erupted in laughter. That’s not how we roll and, if I’m being honest, my biggest fear is that we settle down and get stuck. So here’s to the not knowing and taking big risks. Just be good to us 2020!
Month by Month Highlight Reel of 2019:
Hi Kyle—just thought I’d tell you that one of our ancestors, a Rogers, was a friend of Ben Franklin’s and died while visiting him. I think I read that Franklin spoke at his funeral. The details are all fuzzy in my memory so I will get back onto Ancestry.com and see if I can find the article. If you would like access to what I have found on your branch of my tree, just send me your e-mail address. (Your mom is my 1st cousin—her dad Harry was my mom’s (Marlyn Mae Frederick Stacey) younger brother: Harry Frederick, Jr. son of Isabelle Mae DeYo Love Frederick, daughter of Libbie Adelia Rogers DeYo Baker. I always enjoy your posts.
Oh wow! This is so exciting to me! Please do share whatever you have. It would be great to be able to connect more with my family roots! I’ll email you shortly! Have a great new year!
Oh, man. Not finding the article. I’ll keep searching, but it may take a while. Sorry.